Cinco de Mayo turned out to be more like Day of the Dead

For some, it was supposed to be a day to celebrate their heritage. For others, it was a chance to drink copious amounts of Corona. Whatever their perspective, however, nobody in the Denver or Iowa City areas got up on May 5th and expected a grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl to wreak havoc on Cinco de Mayo festivities.

Brushed by the icy wings of death

In what was described by witnesses as 'an impressive manoeuvre', the owl made his entrance by flying between some folk dancers, executing a barrel roll and devouring between one and 285 people. The owl then perched momentarily on the State Capitol building, before smashing the dome in his talons.

Fiesta... of doom!

The owl then flew to the nearby festival site, where he began plucking people from the crowd and eating them 'like they were grapes on a stem', according to a witness who was not present at the scene. Apparently, at one point he seized a tent pole in his talons and skewered several people 'like they were on a shish kebab' according to the same witness.

Last orders...

The owl concluded his day of destruction in Iowa City, Iowa, where he devoured an entire group of University of Iowa students enjoying a Cinco de Mayo Pub Crawl. An unidentified survior recalled, 'We were leaving this one bar. I was the last person out of the bar, because I had left my cell phone in the men's room. I went back for it, but got lost on my way out and thought I better buy another Corona. Then I realized they had forgotten the lime, so I decided to go back, but the bartender misunderstood me and thought I said I didn't want a Corona, I wanted a Bud Light Lime. So he took my Corona and gave me a Bud Light Lime, but I didn't realize it until I was almost at the door. So I stopped and wondered whether I should go back and ditch the Bud Light Lime and get a Corona, because Bud Light Lime is kind of a pussy drink, and I knew that the whole pub crawl society would make fun of me. But then I decided I could handle it, because the Bud Light Lime was pretty good for something that tasted basically like Sprite with some hops. That's when I saw this giant owl attacking them. There was blood and guts and bones everywhere. First I thought I had underestimated the strength of Bud Light Lime, but then I realized that no, this was actually happening.'

Tragically, the students' matching shirts, cheap plastic jewelry, and drunken behavior may have led the owl to mistakenly believe that they were lemmings rather than humans. University of Iowa spokespeople are encouraging students to refrain from group activities, other than sporting events, where they dress and act alike.