As titans clashed, many gave thanks for excaping the carnage

Thanksgiving Day is one of the most important holidays in the United States of America. For billions of Americans, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is an integral part of holiday festivities, along with roast turkey, gatherings with relatives, and games of touch football on the front lawn. This year, however, the hundreds of millions of attendees and further billions of viewers on television witnessed a hitherto unknown spectacle, when the parade became the scene of a prolonged and violent battle between a grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl and a buffalo-sized turkey.

A special Thanksgiving surprise: Turkor, the giant wild turkey

The turkey, known as Turkor, was first seen wandering along the parade route, but it is not known whether he intended to join the parade, or if his presence was accidental and coincidental. Witnesses reported first thinking the giant turkey was a "very realistic float" or a "robot", or "the best [expletive] Thanksgiving costume I've ever seen". However, it soon became apparent by the bird's behavior that it was in fact a real turkey. The beast, Turkor, did not attempt to eat any humans. He did uproot several small trees, however, and attempted to eat the tires of a truck pulling one of the floats, and killed between 3 and 1,945 people by accidentally trampling on them.

It was not the fake turkey that he was after...

As Turkor's gobbles, clucks and other noises melded with the marching bands and pre-recorded pop songs, however, a new and ominous sound joined the festive cacophony: a menacing growl that witnesses described as sounding something like "Rrrrrrrrrrrr". The grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl that had been wreaking havoc on both sides of the Atlantic was seen flying down the parade route. He barely paused to demolish between two and 49 floats as he flew towards an unknown goal.

Snoopy could not stand in the way of Owlus's Thanksgiving feast

As the giant turkey was wandering down the street, gobbling merrily as he walked beside the balloon of the beloved comic strip character Snoopy, the menacing "Rrrrrrrr" was heard again, and the snowy owl burst onto the scene. First, he tore the Snoopy balloon to shreds, raining the scraps down onto the shocked crowd, and then he seized the turkey and flung him into a nearby building, smashing it. Turkor, however, was not significantly injured.

"First, I thought it was supposed to be part of a Harry Potter float, you know, like a super-realistic Harry Potter owl," one eyewitness recalled. "Then when the owl and turkey got together, I thought the theme must have been 'Harry Potter is using his messenger owl to send Thanksgiving greetings'. But when the owl killed the Snoopy float and started fighting with the turkey, I realized the whole thing was probably unplanned."

Turkor's beak proved no match for Owlus's deadly wings

The two huge birds continued to move along the parade route. Turkor only rarely attempted to fly away, as each time he tried to escape the owl beat him down with his wings or talons. The turkey puffed out his plumage in an effort to seem more impressive, but the owl seemed unperturbed as he continued to swipe at Turkor, using his wings as weapons. One witness commented, "It was kind of like the owl was b***h-slapping the turkey."

It was not merchandise, but brutal action that they were bargaining for

Finally, the two gigantic birds stopped in front of Macy's, where they continued to do battle. The turkey made a last-ditch effort to defend himself, slashing furiously with his beak, but the owl sent him flying with a kick from his foot. He then leaped on Turkor and stabbed him several times with his talons, before flying off with his slain foe towards central park. Fortunately, the battle concluded in time to allow Santa to appear at the end the parade as scheduled.

Getting ready for the ultimate turkey feast

Having dispatched his foe, the owl flew to Central Park and enjoyed what may be the largest turkey ever consumed on Thanksgiving. He then flew off for points unknown, sure to rain mayhem and destruction on the unwary another time.

A beautiful panorama of fall colors, but all they saw was blood red.

Autumn is, for many people, the most beautiful season. As the summer leaves die off and turn vibrant shades of red, gold, and orange, millions of people worldwide, particularly in North America and East Asia, love to view the foliage, celebrate the harvest, and engage in outdoor activities. Across North America, however, the leaves were not the only things dying, after a grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl launched a series of attacks on unsuspecting people enjoying the autumn scenery.

They never got to see the peak fall foliage

As the leaves were just beginning to turn in the Shenandoah Valley, a couple incorrectly identified as Thomas and Martha Jefferson asked a passing hiker to take their photo as they sat on a scenic overlook. The hiker unwittingly captured their last moments, as the grizzly-bear sized snowy owl suddenly burst through the trees and crushed them in its powerful talons in a scene eerily reminiscent of the owl attacks on couples in cars across the nation the previous spring. The hiker survived by jumping off the side of the scenic overlook, and although she sustained a compound fracture of one leg, she later said it was a small price to pay to escape with her life. "You expect to maybe encounter weirdos, vagrants, maybe rapists or psycho killers when you're out hiking, so I always carry mace," she said. "And there's always the possibility of an attack by a black bear or cougar or coyote, or some other predator, or a rabid raccoon. But I really wasn't expecting a giant owl to come out of nowhere and kill those people." The owl then flew along the Skyline Drive, killing between 24 and 19,876 additional people. Apparently neither romantic couples on foot or in cars, nor families, nor larger groups of tourists were spared.

Her first hunting trip could have become her last...

In New Hampshire, where the autumn was further along, the owl was also seen lurking around unwary hunters. In one incident, a 13-year-old had recently bagged her first deer, and was proudly showing the buck to her friends and family, when the owl appeared. The quick-thinking hunting party grabbed their guns and attempted to shoot the owl, but the owl was uninjured, and merely flew away after flinging one of their trucks into the forest and starting a wildfire. The 13-year-old hunter recalled, "Our bullets didn't appear to have any affect on the owl. I know we didn't miss, because it was right there in front of us. But they didn't hurt him. He just looked annoyed. I'm a bit disappointed, because that would have been a pretty cool trophy." Other hunting parties were not as lucky. Between 42 and 8,381 people were killed by the owl in the New Hampshire wilderness.

A father-son fishing trip that one would never forget, and the other would not survive

The owl was next seen in north-central Pennsylvania, where it encountered a father and son on a fly fishing expedition. The older man was decapitated by the grizzly-bear-sized raptor. "I can't believe this happened," said the man's son, a graduate student. "My graduate advisor was killed by a giant white owl at the beginning of the school year. This really gave me a hard time with my graduate studies, but somehow things were becoming ok. Then my father, who I didn't see for years after he abandoned my mother and me, came back from Germany or wherever he was, and said he was sorry for being a c***, and said we should go on a fishing trip. I used to wish to go on fishing trips with him, so I thought it would be nice. And then this happens -- again, killed by a giant white owl. The odds of this happening twice are absurdly small. I think maybe I am cursed. Why did this happen?"

The pale wings of death mirrored on a river of autumn gold

The owl then flew off to the northeast and circled down the Hudson river, where it was last observed about to smash a small rowboat in its talons before flying off, its white wings contrasting dramatically with the rich fall colors. Although the widespread nature of the owl's autumn carnage causes the total death toll to remain unclear, it is believed to be somewhere between 89 and 481,986 people.

Autumn is also a season that is celebrated in many Asian countries, such as China and Japan, but there have been no reports of the grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl in any part of Asia. However, with the association of Tokyo with strange creatures such as Godzilla, Gamera and Mothra, to say nothing of Japan's robot innovations, it continues to be unclear whether the appearance of the owl in Tokyo would elicit any special attention.

They went out for Trick or Treat, but all they got was Death

For billions of American children, only Christmas surpasses Halloween as a favorite holiday. However, the holiday will now forever be associated with carnage and mayhem of the genuine, not pretend sort, as the grizzly bear-sized snowy owl that has wreaked havoc on both sides of the Atlantic resurfaced in time to turn the beloved holiday into a nightmare.

An ominous sight in the distance

The owl was first spotted in suburban Florida, where a crowd of neighborhood children were gathering to take photos before going out for an afternoon of trick-or-treating. The owl landed amidst the crowd, and quickly became the subject of a number of photographs.

The snapping of a vicious beak would soon replace the snapping of photographs

A Florida grandmother who would only give her name as Mildred described the scene: "First, we were just taking photos, and then the big owl appeared. Everybody thought it was part of the Halloween celebration, so we started taking pictures of it too. The children just loved it. But then..." The eyewitness did not wish to describe the scene in her own words, but other survivors said that, as soon as people began to approach the owl, it seized several individuals in its talons and quickly devoured them, sparing neither man, woman nor child.

These trick-or-treaters were about to become the treats for something higher on the food chain

After killing between 578 and 76,152 people in Florida, the owl flew west, stopping at numerous suburban enclaves to slaughter at least 9,204 and possibly as many as 732,289 additional people, and backing up traffic on Interstate 95 for eight hours, and Interstate 10 for nine and a half hours.

The stroller parade was in danger of becoming a death march

As darkness descended and millions of undeterred trick-or-treaters stepped out in search of candy dressed as ghouls, ghosts, witches, goblins, Michael Jackson, superheroes, and other popular characters, the owl continued to rain destruction upon the unwary.

One parent living in one of the attack sites said, "I thought it [the owl] was somebody's Halloween decoration. Look It could have been a robot, or even some kind of suit -- I wasn't paying that much attention anyway. This was my daughter's first Halloween. We dressed her up like a little princess, and were all set to have a great time trick or treating. Of course, she's too young for candy, and my wife and I wouldn't pig out on the sweets she got, since we know better than that. Did you know that they use Coca-Cola to clean corrosion off car battery terminals, and blood off highways after accidents?"

At this point, another parent called him a sanctimonious ass, and they started getting into a shouting match and provided no useful information about the owl.

Will counter-owl training become the next law enforcement strategy?

The next day, police tried to piece together the evidence of the attacks. One thing that most witnesses described was the impression that the owl was initially part of some actual Halloween decoration or celebration, and then the realization that they were wrong when it started tearing people apart. The reason for the killing rampage is not entirely understood at this time. While between 862 and 4,895,247 people lost their lives in the attacks, only a very small number, perhaps a few dozen at most, were eaten. The overwhelming majority of the deaths appear to be for purposes other than feeding. Scientists, law enforcement officers and other experts are working on better understanding the motivation for the attacks in an effort to help citizens better prepare for the next incident involving the grizzly-bear-sized snowy owl.